Monday, February 4, 2013

this week's goals

after reading several other people's blogs for the last couple months, i decided that i need to continue this blog for me. not for the fame or glory or followers, but for me to express myself especially in the evenings. i have been trying really hard to get on track with my weight loss. i have been working out consistently 4-5 times a week for about a month doing insanity with several of my coworkers after school tues-fri. working out is the EASY part for me. my struggle is the eating. i eat well all day long at work, and then i struggle when i'm at home and alone.

i decided to write my goals down here and then follow up with them next week. i'm hoping to post more throughout the week as well, but not going to guarantee anything!

  • track what i'm eating
  • workout 5 days this week
  • be mindful of why i'm eating (emotional or physical)
  • watch my portions
  • try not to be a perfectionist with eating better
every time i start on WW or any weight loss program i lose weight like crazy because i don't misstep at all. and it scares me to misstep because as soon as i do, i justify it and then go back to my old ways. i didn't do perfect last week and lost 1.2 pounds, which i gladly accepted. however, in my head i start justifying my bad choices by saying that if i make them all the time i can continue to lose weight. its a vicious cycle of laziness and self-doubt. i am going to use this as a place to document for myself to have forever. i will not look back. i will push forward from this point on. i can do it.. i will do it... i AM doing it!!!!


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

alright, here goes nothing. some things about me:

i am a teacher who hates capital letters, except to show expression.

i live alone with my two cats and desperately wish to not be called a crazy cat lady.

i live 4-5-or-6 hours away from my immediate family and i miss them daily.

my niece and goddaughter, braelynn, is one of my favorite people in the world.

said niece has shown me how to love unconditionally again.

i am new to blogging but think learning by doing is the best way to get er done!

anyway, enough about me. well, maybe not.. but moving along anyway. inspiration for this blog came to me one night when i decided that i had a whole bunch of things that i wanted to accomplish and i needed some place to dish all the goods out. i know that having 'followers' is the point of a blog, so you can have people tell you that you're normal and sane, et cetera, et cetera... however i feel like i prob wont ever have that many followers, if any, so its just a personal bitch fest for me. back to the topic of why i'm doing this shit. i have decided that i absolutely have to start getting my happy credit card charging ass out of debt. no ifs, ands, or big ass booties about it. i have no choice at this point. i am over the moon in debt and i know i wouldnt be if i didnt pay a bajillion dollars in credit card debt every month. i also need to lose weight. what better way to do it then by bitching about the struggles and temptations that come with both?  i know FOR A FACT (see, those capitals are okay - expression!) that if i can learn to budget, i will lose weight. my money problems come from a food problem addiction. when i'm happy, sad, excited, tired, depressed, lonely, happy, working, breathing, laying, i want to be eating. food is a drug. a legal and seemingly normal way to cope with life's feelings. what a bitch. food is my bitch. i eat it like its my job and spend more effing money on it than ANYTHING else in my life. i hate it. i hate that food has a hold on me. and from this point on.. it will be different. not perfect, but different. mark my words.

raw. unscripted. life. passion. determination. success?